Nesting Melissa

Today I would like to talk about the alien body snatcher that has taken up residence in my home. I know the aliens think that they are sneaky trying to replace my wife without my knowledge, but as the adoption draws closer the body snatcher (or clone, or puppet master, whatever it is) is getting sloppy. I have gradually begun to notice some un-Melissa-like tendencies in my 'wife' that have made me wonder. I have come to call the body snatcher "Nesting Melissa"

Taken one at a time any of the the following symptoms could be dismissed as circumstance, but it is the constellation of un-Melissa-like actions that have convinced me. First, 'Melissa' has taken to buying things that are not on sale!!! This alone should have tipped me off. I mean my real wife never bought anything that wasn't 45% off with a double coupon. Next, there is stuff everywhere! She has taken up residence in our spare bedroom and begun to build a 'nest' of toddlers clothes, suitcases, toiletries, Diego briefs, dinosaurs and duffle bags. The pictures I am about to post are not suitable for young children or for people who know my wife as a clean, practical, label-making, tupperware-organizing, floor-scrubbing woman. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The Nest

More clothes for the nest

Nesting Melissa has also started to horde toys in Tyson's room. This began in an organized fashion but soon spilled out from under the trundle and across the floor - very un-Melissa!

I am posting all this in case I go missing or start exhibiting very un-Travis-like behaviors such as: planning ahead, going shopping, shaving regularly, exercising, getting up early for work, returning phone calls, and cleaning the house without being prompted. If any of things happen, you will know that they got me too. Don't come looking for me; just run for your lives!