Tomorrow a bunch of international theoretical physicists will power up the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), a $10 billion, 17-mile long super-conducting super-collider on the France-Swiss border and sling a bunch of electrons at each other at light speed to see what happens. The theory is to re-create the big bang in miniature by slamming electrons together at the speed of light and seeing what spills out of them. The project has created controversy because no one is quite sure what happens when you do this. There are several prevailing theories as to what will happen when we turn the LHC on. (1) We will unlock the missing pieces of sub-atomic and astronomical physics and/or get one step closer to creating a Unified Theory of Everything. (2) Nothing will happen and all that time and money will have been wasted and there will be some pissed off physicists. (3) The LHC could create a black hole - or several black holes - that could eat the planet, the solar system or the galaxy. This theory is best represented by the following youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXzugu39pKM&feature=related
That's right, the physicists think it's possible that one or a bunch of black holes could be spawned by the machine as a side effect of the experiment but they will probably be microscopic and disappear very quickly -they think, at least they are pretty sure. And they are really excited about the cool graphics their computers may come up with if they aren't sucked into a singularity - so that's got to be worth the risk, right? And these are really smart folks, so certainly they know what they are doing right? I mean, when have scientists ever been wrong about their theories right? So we'll be OK. I'm pretty sure of that.
But what no one seems to be aware of is a fourth option and I can't really believe that no one has come up with this before now. I think that the LHC could start the zombie apocalypse popularized by the sci-fi movies Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later and Resident Evil. I mean this is a no brainer for me and I feel like it is my duty to make the world aware of our impending doom. Black hole, smack hole, we're talking extinction of the human race by zombification (funny that the spell checker didn't recognize zombification as a real word).
So, here's a few pointers. Nowhere is safe, just safer. Always shoot for their heads, they will keep coming if you just sever a limb or two...or a torso. And last, swords never run out of bullets. So, you've been warned (and prepared). And really, if the first two options happen then we've got nothing to fear. If the third option happens, well, you can't stop a black hole - not even light can escape a black hole. But the fourth option - that would be the zombie armageddon - you can do something about that. Run for your lives!
I'm sure some cool things happened with Tyson today but I've been too busy making tin-foil helmets to keep out the cosmic, black hole death ray particles.
Blog you later...hopefully.
1 comment:
Dear Ty, Your father is crazy! EVERY self respecting 4yr old knows you gotta show your stuff at the play ground. Simply going down the slide has been done before by all the 3yr olds...going down feet first on your bum..well it's just SOOOOOO unadventurous. You gotta show em' how you roll! So go ahead with your bad self..run up that slide..when you get to the top take a minute to look down at the other kids and smile..not only are you the king of the jungle gym but you speak snuffly mandarin..top that! Love,Yi Mu
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