No Spitting or Nose Clearing

The fact that the Chinese need a reminder of this when they are in "international" company says volumes about the gulf between Chinese and Western cultures.  Hawking up a loogey at the swimming pool is perfectly normal behavior to the Chinese, but the rest of us think it's gross so they put up signs for the Chinese nationals to be on their best behavior when around us foreigners.  So, no spitting or nose clearing when Westerners around.  Ironically, our "polite" custom of blowing our nose into a tissue is a real no-no to the Chinese. We've compiled quite a few of these foibles in our travels in the Far East (ie, things that Westerners would consider rude but is accepted here) For instance, the Chinese don't think twice about staring, pointing or talking about big, white Anericans in public.  Add two Chinese kids to the mix and you can watch it melts their brains – it's physically impossible for them to stop staring and they do not flinch when you catch them at it.  Walk through a public park and every eye is on you.  Walk into a room and all conversation stops, tea cups freeze halfway to their mouths, chewing stops and starting commences.  We might as well be made of fire for all the attention we garner in any public place. It's unsettling at first but then you get used to it - then it gets old again like "yeah, I know, I'm a big white guy with a Chinese kid, stare away." And on this trip I have found that looking them in eyes, saying 'hello' and smiling tends to break through the ice and may even get a smile back.  But even that looses it's luster when you have to do it every 10-15 seconds the entire time you are out in public.

 

Apparently, napkins are a real luxury item here because the only place we can get them without creating a stir is at McDonald's (and the buffet at our Western hotel).  Everywhere else and we get a cocktail napkin – if you ask for more you get a stack of cocktail napkins. And about half the time we can't get a fork for Tyson, who has good intentions but no skills with chopsticks.  C'mon people we've got two children here, one less than 2 years old.  They are going to be messy.  A cocktail napkin just ain't gonna cut it!  Sometimes I think they are just jerking us around, watching the stupid American's try to eat rice and noodles with chopsticks and no napkins!

 

Also on the gross out meter – but perfectly fine to them – is to dish out food from serving plates to you own with the same chopsticks that have already been in your mouth!  I barely know the other families from the travel group and they seem to be great people but swapping chopstick spit in the eggplant dish is just too much.  Thankfully they have largely condescended to providing serving spoons for the 'picky Americans'.

 

In reality these things show me how much of the stuff we take as "givens", such as no spitting in the pool, really are just cultural norms that we take for granted.   Here in China it is perfectly acceptable for your kid to drop pants at the zoo and pee into the moat at the hippo paddock.  Kids gotta pee somewhere right?

 

However there are a few things I've seen here that no amount of cultural relativism can explain away.  Here are a few signs that should have been posted but weren't.

 

Please Don't Litter On Your Greatest National Treasure

I'm speaking of the Great Wall here.  After seeing Chinese nationals toss their empty bottles off the Wall not once but twice in the span of an hour I was ready to make my own sign.  But seriously, you shouldn't need a sign for that.  It's the Great Wall of China for crying out loud!  What could your empty Sprite bottle possibly contribute to the grandeur of the Great Wall?  What kind of callous disregard do you have to have to toss your trash on one of the Seven Wonders of the World? 

 

Here's another sign I want to get made.

Please Do Not Throw Trash at the Monkeys

This must be a great national pastime based on the shocking volume of trash we saw in the monkey pit at the GZ Zoo yesterday – there were two liter soda bottles, hamburger wrappers, plastic water bottles, toilet paper, napkins (how'd they get those?), plates, banana peels, apple cores, basically everything you'd find in your trash can at home.  In the three minutes we were standing there I saw a guy toss a half empty water bottle at a monkey (much to the amusement of the crowd) and someone else spit a mouthful of water on another (again with the spitting).  And I've already mentioned the peeing on the hippo exhibit. So, I'm guessing that PETA doesn't have a chapter here in Guangzhou.  It was disgusting and appalling.  Like I said, some things even cultural relativism can't explain away.

 

So the next time you swing through China, leave the Kleenex at home and work on your spitting instead.  You'll fit right in here.