Chinglish Shirts

Shirts with English print are all the rage here in China.  It doesn't matter what it says as long as it's English. We've been to a lot of public places here in the last few days and seen thousands of Chinese nationals in their natural habitats – parks, restaurants, lobbies, streets, the zoo, etc. – and I can safely say that one in every three people is wearing a t-shirt with some sort of English writing on it.  Not French or German but English – or what is clearly meant to be English.  Now, to be fair many of these shirts are "designer" shirts with logos on them like Levis or Reebok or Nike.  But about every tenth one is just something ridiculous or puzzling. Take for instance the shirt of a punkish, defiant teen in the metro yesterday.  It said, "I Alive! You no sweat. I a Rocker!"  with a big NY on both sleeves.  Hmmmmm.  That one stumped me a bit.  Not sure what she thought it said but she wore it like she was shaking a fist at the world.  Rock on, sister!  Less puzzling was the one that simply said, "I Take New York".  

 

Others are just silly, like the person yesterday with the words, "Flower Shirt" over – you guessed it – a graphic of a flower.  Or the one that simply said Apple with an apple in the second P – not the iPod Apple mind you, just a regular apple.  So, I guess it doesn't matter what English you have on your shirt – English letters are cool.  Even if it's jibberish.  Maybe the cool kids have shirts that actually spell something real while the regular kids just get random letters thrown on with a graphic for good measure.   Like the guy today who's shirt had actual words on it.  "Designer Shirt," it said in plaid lettering, with a picture of the Na'vi from Avatar ironed-on underneath.  Clearly top of the line.

 

The only thing I can relate it to is when Americans get a Chinese or Japanese pictogram tattooed on their body and think it says "harmony" until an Asian tells them it really says "broccoli" – except the Chinese can take their shirts off at the end of the day but that American is stuck with Broccoli.  Perhaps they've got it right after all.

 

Nevertheless, I'm begging someone to help me figure this one out.  Big letters across the front of the shirt from top to bottom that looked exactly like this:

 

THE

RTL

GRP

FER

 

See, what I mean?  English letters just for the sake of English letters.  I swear I'm tempted to whip out the camera every time I see a good one – but I don't want to be rude:).  I'll keep a sharp eye out for other good ones and post more later.

 

But, I digress.  Most of you want to hear about Lucy and our exploits in China but I've been jonesing to blog about those shirts for days.

 

Lucy is doing Awesome.  We are making breakthroughs every day.  Little bits of progress that show she is more comfortable with us then ever and getting better.  Today she allowed us to put her in a high chair.  Since we got her, she has clung to me, even during meals – which has made eating very tricky for both of us.  Yesterday she allowed us to put a bib on her for dinner – which spared my shorts their nightly covering in all things food.  I don't mean cheerios and bananas; I'm talking steamed egg, fried noodles, buttered corn, curried beef, fried dumplings– anything sticky, gooey, stinky or brown goes into her mouth and onto my shorts!  Except yesterday she started wearing a bib!  Praise the Lord.  Now only half of that stuff hits my shorts.  Tonight, she did both – bib and high chair – AND she allowed Melissa to feed her!  This is huge since she normally can't stand the sight of Melissa let alone allow her to touch her food.  For the first time, I didn't feed her a thing, and she played with Melis after the meal too.  It was amazing.  Melis was also "allowed" to change her poopy diaper today – a privilege only I have been afforded up until now.  So, things are looking up.

 

Seriously, she is such a bundle of joy…and vinegar.  She has 9 different ways of saying Baba that all mean something different.  Sometimes she can only go to sleep if she's lying on my chest and every morning and evening she sits in my lap for her bottle of milk.  She's a late riser and likes to cuddle in the morning before getting up and her arms do this funny, jerky swing when she is walking all by herself and getting cocky about it.   She has her challenges to be sure but this is the little girl we have been waiting for all these years.  I haven't seen a prettier little girl in China yet – and I mean that.  Even the Chinese people stop us to take pictures of her and tell us "She so beautiful."

 

Well, it's late Monday night here and I better get down to the free wifi zone to get this posted.  More crazy shirts and Lucy news to come.